The last few weeks I have had a lot of stress. I know that there are some things in our lives that cause stress that we can't let go of. But I wanted to blog today about the stresses that we hold onto that we do have control over.
There was a time in my life where I had no idea what stress was. That has not been the reality these last few weeks, maybe months. Yesterday I wanted to move so bad that it hurt. I had to take a step back and figure out WHY I wanted to move. I realized that I under a LOT of stress, and I had to figure some things out. I am going through a learning curve. I have to realize that I don't have to be in control of everything!!! Yesterday I couldn't deal and I just wanted to run away, and not deal with anything. I guess you could say that I was at the breaking point. It had been happening for a while, the signs were some of the following.
- Not taking the kids to their classes (Dance, Piano, Hero, Knights of Freedom, Beautiful Girls)
- Shopping (even if we didn't have the money)
- Not really caring about consequences of the choices above.
- Zoning out on Facebook.
- Consequently affecting my home school. :(
I had to let some things go. Things that I felt weren't mine anymore. I also had to make a big decision as far as the kids school. This last year we did My Tech High, and it was nice to have the money for the different classes, curriculum, passes, etc. However, I really wanted to go year round and they don't do have that option. It may seem like it would have been an easy choice but it was NOT. I knew that I had to make a choice and I knew that it was not mine to make alone. There was some discussion with my husband as well as with the kids. We did a pros and cons list and believe it or not the pros list was longer then the cons. However, the cons list was "heavier" then the pros list. My little "Bear" was not happy about the decision but that is just the way things go sometimes. That decision made, and told to the appropriate person it was a weight lifted.
But I was still stressed. I knew what it was that was stressing me out but it is also a big part of my life and a part that I LIKE to be in control of. Finances!!! I like to know how much money we have. I like to have the freedom of getting things that the family needs without telling or asking about the money. I also knew that I had to let it go. That decision made I talked it over with my husband and this morning I gave it up!!! Like I said this is a learning curve for me. Not to be in control of that part of our life. It will take a little getting used to but I also think that it will be good.
I went to the gym this morning but came home early to do some thinking, praying, studying. I feel good about this decision.
So why did I decide to do a blog about this? I wonder how much in our lives we hold onto that we shouldn't. What would happen if we gave "control" over to others in our lives? Lets talk about chores for instance, we all know that we as mothers can do a better job then our children, younger especially. But if we keep things that aren't "ours" then we are stretched to thin. As mothers we are over stretched anyways, wouldn't you agree? It doesn't matter if you are a stay at home mother, a working mother, a home schooler, or send your kids to school. We have a tendency to take on to much. Here is an example of some of the things that I "own" or "owned".
- Main educator of my 5 children
- Visiting Teacher (My religion we go and visit some of the ladies and check on them. 4 ladies)
- Finances (Just gave them up)
- Doing most of the chores (have to take the time AGAIN to train my children on how to do them, and do them well.)
- Laundry (needs its own line cause it is worth like oh 10 chores in one)
- Food Shopping
- Cooking (Spice helps with breakfast which has helped but I still do dinners.)
- Menu planning
- Driving kids to their classes
- Continuing to learn, read, think, write.
- My interview with the Lord ( Read Scriptures, Study, Pray, Think, Ponder, Write)
- Keeping the house hold on schedule
- Doing things for my Stake calling (In my religion we also volunteer to help out in capacities. Some times we are called to help out with the little children, sometimes the teens, sometimes we are asked to teach the adults. Sometimes we are asked to keep the different classes running smoothly. Young Women leaders, Young Men Leaders, Adult leaders, Leaders over the teachers to our little children. Sometimes our men are asked to lead the whole congregation (called Bishops) sometimes we are called to help out with multiple congregations. This is called a Stake calling. I am helping out with the young women.)
*Some of the duties I am in charge of in this calling,
a) Help plan and carry out girls camp
b) Make agendas to talk about (up coming activities and things that need to be organized.)
c) Help communicate with other Stake leaders
d) Plan, Study, Prepare and then Talk in different Wards (church buildings) to the whole congregation.
e) Remind my presidency and or youth of up coming events or meetings.
f) Attend as many meetings during the week as are scheduled to the best of my ability. Some months are busier then others.
- I am taking on a math class. My children need this and so do some of the other families in our community.
- Be a wife.
- Bathe the dog and shave her when needed.
- Make sure the kids turn in weekly reports to "My Tech High" (Ending soon)
- Make doctor, dentist, and any other appointments needed
- Make sure that they get to their appointments
- Serve when needed or asked (making dinners, helping clean, etc. those who are sick or in need of help)
- I also do a SMALL baking business out of my home called "Bryar's Cozy Cottage." I sell baked goods and candy to friends in my town. It isn't very big, but one day I do hope to have a real business. For now this is just fine and busy enough.
- Take care of myself (I visit the gym to lift weights and run 4-6 days a week)
Ok I am sure I can think of a few dozen other things that I "own." I bet if you wrote down all that you "own" you would find that you are just as busy. When we do all that is "ours" it doesn't seem like we do all that much. I don't do all of these things every day. But can you see why I was so stressed? It was time for me to let some things go!
What can we do to simplify our lives and to lessen our stress? Learn to "Let it go, let it go." May be if we do we will feel "Free." How much more could we actually get done if we don't try and do IT ALL? I am working on pairing down. Truly only "owning" what is REALLY mine. It is a process but I think in the long run I will be more effective when I do just "own" what is "mine"
This was just on my mind today so I thought I'd share and ramble.
Hugs, Emily
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